Friday, May 28, 2004

THE BOX: Getting Desperate... on ABC

In the past couple of weeks, the 6 announced their fall line-ups. Now, word is starting to leak out... could it be that ABC has an artful, dramatic hit on it's hands?

Comparing a TV show to Twin Peaks is something I don't take lightly and I've now read 3 different sources that give that credit to Desperate Housewives. Maybe it's because Sheryl Lee(Laura Palmer from Twin Peaks)shows up dead in the first episode, who knows... but it's a reason for me to tune out L&O: Criminal Intent for a night and hop over to ABC land. The rest of cast isn't too shabby either, including Teri Hatcher and Felicity Huffman. And while possibly my York roots are to blame, but nothing gives me more satisfaction that watching the skeletons of small town come out and the neurotic lives of middle aged women unfold. If Stepford Wives does well at all this summer, it's sure to give a boost to Desperate, even though, there is no real correlation. For more details, check out AICN's pilot review.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

NEWS: Election Year Fear... Start Cowering

Whether Bush's numbers have dropped too low and he's trying to scare us, or our "intelligence" agencies really are that inept, be advised, it's coming.

5 months to go, and suddenly there is a solid and eminent threat against
America. Do I believe this administration is "Wagging the Dog"? Not at all. But, I think this is proof that partisan politics, the patriot act, and vicious attacks at liberals and non christians don't make us any safer. This week, Ashcroft announce that we should fear because 7 really really really really bad guys were here. It could be this weekend, 4th of July, or Election Day, but beware, it's coming. Aparently, it's so close and there is nothing that the FBI, CIA, Mr. Ridge, and the like can do... so instead, they now come to me and you. Help us! Help yourself! Save your country! Kill all muslims! .. no, wait, they didn't say the last one outloud.

Ashcroft made the statement that, "After the March 11th attack in Madrid, Spain, an al Qaeda spokesman announced that 90 percent of the arrangements for an attack in the United States were complete."

Chris Rock says that there are three kinds of people, the really smart people, the really dumb people, and most of the people in the middle, the b and c people, like our president. An oligarchy is sounding pretty good now, huh? It's those people, the B's and C's, that are going to bring this country down. They champion putting "a boot up someone's ass" (Toby Keith just won entertainer of the year!), they buy gas guzzling cars then blame enviromentalists for the cost of gas increasing. Now, I buy no means think that anyone should die, especially innocents. I'm an American, but I do not support my government. I am most definately an elitist, but still and American. That doesn't matter to the blindly angry. I am an American, whether it's me or W, it's all the same to the "evil doers". I don't think terrorists understand Red States and Blue states... and certainly not purple. They attacked New York as a symbol of America. New York, the most liberal, diverse, and tolerant place in our whole country. If they were concerned about who believed what, they would attack Alabama and California would be the safest place in the country. Let's stop finger pointing. Stop living in denial. Stop being a victim. Stop crying. Stop charging. Stop hating. Oust our leaders. Use the 8-12% of the brain God gave you. VOTE!

POPCORN: Alexander's Trailer Comes Out of the Closet

This week, the trailer for Alexander, my most anticipated film of 2004, was released online. Directed by dark and turmoiltuous Oliver Stone, Alexander stars a toeheaded Colin Ferrel in the title role and Angelina Jolie, both pictured above. Stone is no stranger to bio pics, especially one's of political nature ("back and to the left"). While I'm sure Alexander will stray from historical accuracies to add more tragic controversial drama, I know Stone will avoid any glossy tones (unless it's glossy toned bodies). No one get's down and dirty like Stone.

POPCORN: Gwyneth dives into The Blue Angel

Variety is reporting that Gwyneth Paltrow has signed on to star as Marlene Dietrich, the mysterious Blue Angel star of Hollywood's gold era. Hooray for Hollywood, the Blonde Bombshells are back!

Miss Paltrow in the period sci-fi film Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. She has that bombshell look nailed!

The one and only Deutch darling Marlene Dietrich.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

THE BOX: In the Company of Showtime, LaBute goes for the Box

Neil LaBute, the seeming misagynist responsible for In the Company of Men, has signed with Showtime to develop a original series that deals with the downfalls of being a college professor who beds his students. The working title is Lilac Lane.

NEWS: Draft: The Next Generation

The watchdog site is reporting a reinstitution of the draft. Not just rumours but an actuall bill declaring that anyone, male and female, 18-26, are considered. College is no longer a refuge and neither is Canada due to an international agreement signed. Looks like Mexico, brush up on your spanish and break out the shot guns, now it's our generation being asked to fight Bush's holy war. If you don't vote, better start!

Phinaly, Phish Extinct!

Yes it's the end of an era Phish Phans! After saying good-bye to some great TV and saddly listening to Madonna's latest record... I am happy to say that this is the best ending I can think of. By September, Phish will be no more. Done, over... and no there not more in the sea. HAHAHA... quite possibly the most annoying band in the history of music fanatics is down... down with the jam and the breaking of the band!

P.S. There is no word yet from B & J as to the fate of the fabulous Phish Food Flavor.

THE BOX: A little bit of Buffyverse... and the Resurrection of Willow

While the Mutant Enemy (Buffyverse) writing team is spreading out, the best bit of news is that Jane Epson is leaving Gilmore Girls to join Tru Calling next season. While the stories may still suck, Jane will with no doubt ensure the writing will be witty and might even through in a little Buffy-speak... this news makes Tru "five by five." The crew from Ain't It Cool News has also reported the many whereabouts of numerous Mutant Enemy alums including Alias, Smallville, The O.C., The Sheild, and the unaired Still Life for fox created by the best and the brighest, Marti Noxon. There is also the homeless Wonderfalls as well. For a full list and details, visit the boys at Ain't It Cool.

For actual sunnydale action, the WB is still reportedly going ahead with Buffy: The Animated Series. According to Alyson Hannigan's mom in an Atlanta newspaper, Hannigan will reprise the role of Willow doing voice recordings after she wraps up her London performances in the West End. So long Americana and NBC..

THE BOX: The Final Countdown... 24's Day 3 comes to an End

Steven Saunders, this seasons big bad evil doer, is dead, Jack, the President, and Kim all made it through alive, and the world is still here. At least, until Day 4 brings an all new threat.

Last night, 24's day 3 came to an end. Jack contained the virus in a middle school teacher's lounge. Granted he had to chop off Chase's hand to get it there. Proving there is nothing this man won't do for "god and country." Tony, on the other hand, proved there isn't anything he wouldn't do to protect his wife. For that, he is being brought up on treason charges. The Miliken scandle came to an end as President Palmer withdrew his bid for a second term. In the last seconds, where Nina shot Terry in season 1, where Palmer was bio-attacked in season 2, Jack cried. Yes, that was the privotal and anti-climactic closer to day 3... Jack cried.


So, what does day 4 have in store? New president obviously. Nina and Sherry are dead so no first season throwbacks anymore. Ryan Chappell is dead so no snide order barking from division. Tony is apparently going to jail for a long long time if not being executed for treason (Palmer needs to exonerate him... I love Tony!). Kim got very little play this season, so, I'm looking for her to get lost in Afganastan or something of that nature next season. Chase is a hottie mini-Jack, and without Tony, is destined to be the new candy coated side kick. ... or so that's what I thought! PSH! According to Eonline, 24 pink slipped Carlos Bernard (Tony Almeda), his onscreen wife Reiko Aylesworth (Michelle Dessler), and James Badge Dale, Timberlake-esque Chase Edmunds. Cuthbert (Kim) has been dropped down to an even more minor character so she can work on films. (kill her off, please please kill her off!) Of everyone, Dennis Haysbert (Palmer) has not been fired. Oh no, is this yet another 3rd season peak (Dawson's Creek, Buffy, Angel, ER, The Practice, etc.) Oh well, here's to January 2005...

SOME LIKE IT HOT... and dirrty


From teen titan, to scrapy vamp, ghetto fabulous, and gothic powerhouse, Christina Aguilera has donned many different looks since 1999, most of which were massive disasters. But now, as the dirrty girl grows up, she's using her sex to seduce instead of repulse us. She also bares a striking resemblence to Mira Sorvino, at least I think so.

POPCORN REVIEWS: Two Sides to Storming "Troy"

Troy: 7/10 by Scarlett & 4/10 by D

Troy, minus the wooden horse and arrow through the heel, bared little resemblance to The Illiad, Homer's epic poem. That with standing, Peterson, delivered an exciting epic in now standard obscene proportions (thank you LOTR and Matrix Revolutions). Peterson's adaptation focuses more on the showdown between Achilles and Hector than Odysseus. Troy also focuses on a battle of men verses a battle of the god's on the playing field of men. In fact, the gods were constantly mocked. Priam's (Peter I don't get what all the hype is about O'Toole) devout belief is pin pointed as the tragic flaw and cause of the fall of Troy (Mr. Bush anyone?). In fact, for many thousands of years, all but the Greeks believed this story a myth, only in the passed century was it proven to be history. As with all history, the facts are simply decoration to grand stories of motivation, glory, and faith. Yes there is war between Sparta (and the other Greek's) and the Trojans ignited by a woman... yes there is a large wooden horse... yes, there is also a showdown of heroes. And while the names remain the same, and actual plot points, the "why" is what is different. When telling a story of war, the why makes all the difference.

The casting of this movie was quite odd. While Eric Bana shines as Hector and Brad Pitt glistens (literally) as Achilles the rest of the cast is quite odd. Orlando Bloom seems only cast as Paris because Peter Jackson had him superbly trained as an archer for his role of Legelos in the Lord of the Rings. Paris's most important role in the story is to strike down Achilles with an arrow. I see Peterson watching LOTR and thinking, "that actor really knows how to uses a bow... i shall make him Paris." Bloom must refrain from taking roles that involve him to use a bow and arrow for at least 5 years... preferably longer. (Fingers crossed in Kingdom of Heaven he weilds a sword) Paris should be more sleazy than pretty, more weak, greedy, and slimy than heroic (think Jude Law)... but this isn't The Illiad.

The biggest casting flaw is that of Diane Kruger, who certainly is not a "face that launched a thousand ships" as Helen of Troy is historically known. When casting for a woman known as the most beautiful woman in the history of the world, Miss Kruger is not who comes to mind. It's not that she isn't beautiful, it's that she is nothing on screen. In fact, throughout this film she seems to be channeling Lelei Sobieski more than Helen of Troy. My number one pick for Helen, Charlize Theron. The lady must look like a goddess, glow like an angel, and radiate lust. Diane Kruger is not that lady, even her co-star, Saffron Burrows, would have made a much better bombshell than Miss Kruger.

With an epic story, ancient history, and glowing bodies, Troy lives somewhere between Ben Hur and Caligula. While the story stucture has an odd flow, and there is no loyal tie to The Illiad, Troy, overall, is worth the polyester celluloid it's printed on and the cost of a ticket. 7/10

Diane Kruger's lackluster Helen of Troy

As for Darren: 4/10

Even with an impressive cast and crew, this is a standard and energyless retelling of The Iliad. Featuring dull just-about-everything, from the cliched script to the "we're here for our paycheck" acting. Though it boasts three fine specimens of man candy, all have looked better in other films: Pitt in everything else, Bana in Black Hawk Down and Bloom in Pirates of the Caribbean. Credit either the makeup or cinematography. Only one scene livens things up: the fight between Achilles and Hector. Everything else lacks, ahem, muscle. Aussie Bana is the hottest man in the cast, far outhotting the "woah dude" Achilles Pitt plays, and the "why am I here?" Bloom. Diane Kruger is pretty, but nothing out of the ordinary. Shoulda gone with someone like Uma Thurman, Kate Winslet or Angelina Jolie. I was really looking forward to this over Alexander but now I think that film will be far superior. And was that the score from Jaws I heard in the one scene. Jeez, so much for fresh storytelling.

POPCORN: Fire in the Cannes

On Saturday night, Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 911, stole the show, and the Palm d'Or at the Cannes Film Fest. I'm sure that Sean Hannity will now declare that this film and this prize is evidence of the fanatical French and the Hollywood liberals conspiring to down a decent president and hurt middle class American (you know, the kind that want to "put a boot in your ass"). Of course, on the other side, one can now point to this decent film award a prize by
Tarentino and jury, not just the French, is critically acclaimed and is lacking distribution for solely political concerns. Welcome to Bush's America.

Don't worry, i'm not going to go on and on about how Bush is too irresponsible and un-edumacated to be a republican and too zealous and stubborn to be a democrat. I just find it odd that in Bush's moral America, The Real Cancun can find distribution, and The Swan can find a home on tv, but when it comes to a powerful message through the media, you better be speaking at midnight, on cable, or overseas. We need to get Fahrenheit 911 to the people, the one place where Mr. Rove doesn't want it.

Saturday, May 22, 2004


Hi All:

Since I promised my little sis some man candy for her 13th birthday, I will be driving 6 hours to take her to see Troy. There most likely will not be any posts until Tuesday, but look for reviews on Troy, 24 (finale and season 3), BTVS: Season 6... and other breaking news as it develops.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

THE BOX REVIEW: And then there was none, RIP "Angel"

With grace, beauty, and gothic pride, Angel came to an end tonight. So, to give credit where credit is due, this was the most powerful and brilliant Angel season finale ever, yes, ever. Fittingly, Joss saved the best for last. Dare I say this is best Whedon finale since "The Gift" which also capped season 5 of BTVS and the end of that shows run on the WB.


(Spoiler Warning)

The wolf, the ram, and the hart (Wolfram & Hart)- the all encompassing evil that manifests itself on this realm through law firms - brought down the thunder (and Dragons) as Angel and crew took out evil's brightest and best. As predicted, the non humans came through, Angel, Spike, Conner, and Illyria. Gunn, kind of made it, at least until the closing credits, but his wound leads our mind down the inevitable path of death. Wesley, in bravado that this rogue demon hunter rarely got to show, gave his life for the cause. In fact, it was the only ending fitting for Wesley Wyndam Price. Left with nothing to live for (a dead mother, and hateful father, and all loves now dead) Wesley goes head to head with the most powerful warlock this side of hell. To quote, he "craps stronger magic" than what Wes can muster. Making his last stand and accompanied by a final skull shattering punch from Illyria, the AI team won out. Wes left this plane in the arms of Fred (or Illyria's illusion of her) and knowing his part in the apocolyse is done.

***** (10/10)

Cliffhanger: Yes "Not Fade Away" left our characters in uncertain peril, but look at the series. Season 1 ended with Lidnsey's resurrection of Darla, Season 2 with the team returning from Pilea, a hell dimension with crazy Fred, Season 3 with Cordelia ascending to God status and Connor sinking Angel to the bottom of the Ocean, and Season 4 with the take over of W & H (Evil, Inc.) So, why change a formula that has worked so well before?

And for the Shanshu? Is it Spike or Angel.. Well, Angel signed off on the prophecy denouncing any role. That lets the window open for Spike, but then again, contracts signed in blood have to have a loop hole too.

The world is saved once again, right? Well, actually no. Angel initiated the apocalypse, (he's had practice before in "The becoming, part II") the battle wasn't avoided and certainly not won. That's in Joss's Serenity occupied hands now.

Amy had to let the Fred inside her die this year as she evolved into Illyria.

Future... after watching this season and saying good-bye to Buffy last year, the best course to keep the Buffyverse alive (really alive, not just fan fiction or plots I can imagine) is a feature film, Illyria. Let SMG and David go on to other projects. David especially has been working in this world longer than any of them, even SMG herself. Let the next generation take over. A brilliant story with Illyria, the leather clad super vixen, could exist successfully without needing years of TV backstory. To those of us who know the origin, it would ad familiar ties. Plus, look at the pre-existing fan base. To Illyria (and beyond)!

NEWS OF THE WEIRD: Paula Abdul, Forever Your Bitch

In a society dominated by litigious citizens, a lack of personal accountability, and the parental doctrine that we are all special, Paula "Hackneyed American Idol Feel-Good Judge" Abdul has popped up in two ridiculous stories today. According to E!Online Abdul is suing a nail salon over a "botched manicure that allegedly led to a severe infection." She claims that near nearly lost her thumb from the incident.


If that weren't enough E!Online is also reporting that Miss Paula apparently stormed out of Tiffany's because she couldn't afford a pair of $10k earrings and expected to be given them for free because of her "celebrity" status. When the manager firmly rejected her demands, she huffed and she puffed and in the long run, didn't get her way. Awe, poor C list celebrity.


In honor of tonights finale, I had to include this beautiful quote by Joss Whedon in regards to relations with the WB:

"If I had invented reality TV, I would have had a greater impact. But then I would have to kill myself."

THE BOX: To Shanshu in LA, Tonight the Buffyverse Implodes

City of Angel Synopsis for "Not Fade Away": Angel & Company spend the day as if it were their last as they prepare to bring down the evil Circle of the Black Thorn. Putting their lives on the line, Spike confronts a demon cult, Lorne faces off with Lindsay (Guest star Christian Kane), Gunn takes on an evil senator and Angel battles Hamilton (Guest star Adam Baldwin), the henchman of the Senior Partners.


Okay, I'll be the first to admit this season, the fifth and final, of Angel is mondo weak. With some stand out episodes, quite possibly the best the of series, "Thank You" and "Smile Time", the season as a whole lacked an overall driving arc that draws you in. At 10 p.m., it will all be over. I'm more angry at how this season was handled then the cancellation itself. I mean as the Matrix so obviously tells us, "Everything that has a beginning, has an end." I think and believe that had Joss and company known that this was the last, a little more care would have been tossed into each episode. Just look at the 7th season of Buffy. There was very little light and fluffy. Everything, every breath and every moment drove home the fact that a battle of apocalyptic proportions was imminant.

Far more than a shadow of Buffy, Angel tackled a darker 20 something world in gritty L.A. The evolution of the Brooding Buffy Beefcake, into a powerful compassionate and sometimes selfish vampire with a soul, issues, and sense of humor, was beautiful to watch. Whether Angel was singing "Mandy", playing with his infant son Connor, or getting giddy around Cordelia, this series allowed for exquisite character development that would have been inhibited had the character remained in Sunnydale. Cordelia undoubtedly evolved the most from shop til you drop uber bitch on Buffy, to the gorgeous warrior who was turned into a goddess. Just as with Buffy, the peak of this show was the second and third seasons. Both are now out on DVD, so buy 'em

James Marsters may make his final appearance as Spike tonight.

In fact, while debating whether it will be Spike or Angel that possibly shanshus (some old dialect for "to live, to die, to be reborn") tonight, the correlation between Cordelia and Buffy as the great love of Angel's seems all the more obvious as the great Spike/Angel issue loomed over the end of Buffy.

Buffy and Angel both had there powers thrust upon them and fight for duty. Both want to be normal people and would trade in there superpower in a second. Buffy gets her wish in the series finale, to be like every other girl. Will Angel get his tonight?

Throughout the seasons, Spike and Cordi both evolved from flat lesser characters into great warriors. Spike searched for his soul (literally) enduring trial and tribulation not to mention giving his life to save the girl he loved and turn the tide of the fight. Cordi, not gifted with slayer strength, wield an ax or sword like the best of them. She endured long, hard, and sexual tension filled hours training with Angel. In the end, she gave her life to help save Angel, the boy she loved. Okay well there was that one time she had sex with Angel's adult son and gave birth to a hellgod, but hey, we've all done things we regret.

So, as I longed for Joey to choose Pacey over Dawson so few years ago, tonight, I hope that Spike gets just treatment and the respect of the Buffyverse.(He's already died, technically twice. Hey, that has him tied with Buffy.) And please, someone put Wesley out of his misery.

Amy Acker as Illyria: .

While not a feminist, I must say, in a Universe where women had all the power, Buffy, Willow, Anyaka (As a demon), Glory (Glorificas), Darla, Drucilla, Faith, Jasmine, and CORDELIA (Angel Cordi not Buffy Cordi) oh to mention a few, the show has turned into quite a boys club. Even Eve was replaced with a more manly manifestation in Hamilton. Lilla, the ultimate bitch, was hacked last season. In fact, Illyria, the only remaining "female" a really old hell god bent on universal domination, was subjected to a laser to limit her powers. Now, Hamilton can beat her up at will. Is Joss having martial issues? Evolving as a spin off of Buffy the Vampire Slayers, who's mantra was "this girl has power", Angel has dived into dark misogyny. Maybe it is time to end, before it gets any worse at least.

THE BOX - FOXY Scheduling leaves this viewer confused and infuriated

FOX has introduced numerous schedules to advertisers and the trades this week all of which has my head spinning. I mean, I would like to watch some of these shows, if I could only figure out when they are on.

Okay, so, The O.C. could move from Wednesdays to Thursdays at 8 p.m. which would solve the thursday night dilema. This would also force a move with WB's The Mountain to relocate to Wednesday at 9 p.m. (thus making Angel's demise slightly more just).

While we've all heard that Family Guy is likely to return thanks to hot ratings on the cartoon network and DVD sales, most likely, March is the soonest we could expect. Good news is the FG creators also have American Dad slated to debut around the same time.

The worst news of all, is a delay in 24 til 2005. It was a dumb move for ABC to pull this with Alias and even dumber for Fox to make this move with 24... not to mention shifting it's day and time to Mondays at 9 p.m. which would put it up again Las Vegas on NBC and Raymond on CBS, and some crap on ABC. While the day move means I might have something of interest to watch on Monday nights, the January move is unfair. I'm an American damit... don't tell me patience is a virtue!

And a scary "Arrested" development in scheduling also arises... where is Arrested Development? It's been given the go ahead, yet it has not scheduling position. Fox, Fox, Fox... How I long for those simple summer seasons of 90210 at the beach where things were easy, simple, and predictable.

THE BOX - CBS Joins the Crowd with Another Fall Announcement

No big surprises here. Guess what, following in the footsteps of the Law & Order Team, CBS has introduced yet another CSI, and guess what, CSI NY is scheduled against the original Law & Order at 10 p.m. on Wednesday nights. It's so hard to choose which New York Crime drama to watch, oh my!

Anyway, except for maybe tuning into CSI on Thursdays now that Will and Grace has been bumped up for The Donald, CBS still has nothing to offer me. Go out for a martini or tune into cable, but Thursday has lost all the appointment t.v. hype it once held. (Oh, just make sure you're home in time for E.R.)

Click here to enjoy the full schedule

POPCORN REVIEW: "Shrek 2" by Darren

SHREK 2 -- 6/10

Splendid animation, wonderful voicework, the Mission: Impossible, E! and Cops parodies barely keep this sequel afloat. After a solid first 20 minutes that continues the magic of the original, the sequel introduces convoluted plotlines that are only thinly covered up by clever fairy tale jabs. It matches the irreverance of the first, but loses all of the charm. It, however, is still an enjoyable and fast paced 93 minutes of fun, though entirely forgettable. Also, I feel that while he wasn't annoying, the character of Puss-In-Boots really takes away for Donkey. And a nice Justin Timberlake reference for Cammie.

The trailer for The Terminal was attached to this. I think that movie will, ahem, fly high. Something about this movie already has me hooked. Shark Tale was also on, and while its not a very good trailer, the voice team (Will Smith, Angelina Jolie, Renee Zellweger, Jack Black, Robert De Niro and Martin Scorsese) is almost more impressive than Shrek.


Tuesday, May 18, 2004



According to numerous sources, including this one, Mr. Moore and 911 recieved a 20 minute standing ovation. That's hootin' and hollerin' so loud W or at least Karl Rove, must have heard it across the pond in D.C. Then again, those viewer were just the French, what do they know, right? I mean, they are constantly taunting us with their fatty foods and slim trim bodies... oh the French!

Don't fret, for American perspectives (both pro and con) on 911, a film right now being kept from Americans, check out Showbiz Data's summation review.

For those of your who have been following the Disney dump of the film, there is good news on the distribution front. According to the article, the brothers Weinstein are in the process of assembling the widest possible pre-election distribution. YAY, Harvey and Bob!

THE BOX: 24: 1 hour, 1 vile

And then there was 1

Tonight Julia Milikan shot Sherry Palmer during the last few seconds of 24. The second bitch of the season to bite it, Nina kicked it long ago, that leaves hope that Kim might finally get her up commin's - for being the stupidest character ever - during the season finale next week. Although, that's highly unlikely seeing a majority of male viewers like the occasional eye candy.

Okay let's check in on the toll thus far:

Sherry Palmer
Julia Milikan
Alan Milikan
Nina Myers
Ryan Chapell

Not to mention a whole list of evil doers and innocents in the Chandler Hotel.

Keep in mind, Tony, who is now on trial for treason, took a bullet to the neck. Chase was violently tortured south of the border.

Jack... JACK... is supposed still suffering withdraw symptoms from a nasty heroin addiction, although this hasn't been touched on for hours except for a slight mention of it tonight.

Regardless, tonight was an excellent episode setting up the heartpounding final hour of 24.

THE BOX - The Death of WB

As if the loss of Buffy, Angel, and Dawson wasn't enough for the WB, it seams as if everything was in vain. WB's Fall Schedule is the weakest it's been since the before time, the long, long, ago, before the buffyverse was born (circa 1996).

WB is keeping their Monday and Tuesday night solid. Wednesday, where the Angel gap is, where Dark Shadows was to emerge or maybe even Wonderfalls, is a show called Blue Collar TV. OH... MY... GOD.... This is a show described as "a “Hee-Haw”-like sketch comedy show from Fax Bahr & Adam Small (“Mad TV,” “The Jamie Kennedy Experiment”) starring Jeff Foxworthy." If ever the acronym WTF deserved to be used, it surely is now.

In fact, the only 2 shows which remotely provoke my interest, Jack & Bobby, based on the Kennedy family and The Mountain from the O.C. team. Jack & Bobby is slated for Sunday night, which as you can tell from my earlier post, has no room for additional man candy. The Mountain is scheduled for Thursdays at 8 and since I don't give a flying F*ck about the character Joey, maybe I'll tune in... or maybe I'll find something more constructive to do. You know, like they did in the long, long ago, before the box.

THE BOX - Going down to "Fleet Street"

While there is pretty much nothing on ABC besides the Oscars that perks my interest. As a former Practice watcher, I can't wait for Fleet Street, the James Spader "The Practice" spin off. Mmmm... James Spader.


In a world dominated by carbon copy criminal drama and reality drabble, the casted headed by Mr. Spader and including Cap'n Shatner is the only must see new tv that has me drooling like a hound dog for September. Fleet Street is keeping the Sunday 10 p.m. time slot, but unfortunately has lost any kind of Alias lead in because ABC is pushing it back to 2005. YO ABC... get a clue! When you are last and lost in network tv land, you don't push back your cult hit Sunday night staple staring the Jenny Garner, new darling of hollywood, for 6 nights of Extreme Makeover and a show called Desperate Housewives (aka a poor man's American Beauty). If there is anything that needs an Extreme Makeover it's ABC (not to mention the whole Disney conglom).

That said, personally I won't miss Alias because I'll be too busy drooling over Mr. D'Onfrio over on NBC's L&O:CI. Oh Sunday's will be divine filled with mancandy and actual WRITING.

Mahr champions PETA against the Evil Doing Doctors of Columbia U

Bill Mahr, formerly of Politically Incorrect, now of HBO's Real Time, and my personal hero, today emailed the employees of Columbia University. He condemned the pretigious school: "Tossing millions of dollars of tax money out the window is one thing—think searching for ice on Mars—but wasting money to cause strokes in, disfigure, and terrorize animals puts Columbia in an ugly and embarrassing position."

Regardless of whether you eat steak and potatoes or soy and tofu, whether you wear leather or fur, and if you believe hunting is cruel or humane, the situation occuring at Columbia is beyond reasonable debate. According to Mahr, "Poe in a morphine-induced nightmare couldn’t have dreamed up anything as scary as this." From in utero surgeries, to lodging metal rods through skulls, to enducing strokes by popping out eyes, these primates are enduring a tortuous hell that doesn't seem to benefit humanity in anyway besided giving us an outlet for violence.

These are not medical experiments to find cures for Cancer, AIDS, or an obesity gene. These studies are not performed to find life saving drugs or even somthing as superficial as testing cosmetics. They are done purely to satisfy the mind of a scientist with a question... Questions like, "Does stress effect a woman's mentral cycle?" Well, Mr. Mad Scientist, I, and many other woman, can give you answers and opinions if you ask. But you choose to run metal objects into skulls of ramdom primates instead. While sometime I get a debilitating headache, I don't really see the corrilation. How about giving the monkey 2 kids to feed, a deadbeat dad monkey, a run down apartment in the projects, and goverment system that believes everything is her fault, no job that could cover the cost of baby monkey care, and then measure the effects on her mentral cycle.

I guess assuming that we can love and respect animals is a little much, obviously we can't even love respect each other, yet. I can always hope.

POLITICAL RANT: Moore Still Muted in Bush's Deafened America

I may not agree with what Michael Moore says, but I will defend to my death his right to say it. Okay, well actually I do normally agree with Michael Moore, and I'm a republican. I love this country, but as a society, we only want yes men, we want to point the finger all the time, and we don't like to here anything criticizing ourselves. We are hyper emotional without having compassion. We are the most powerful and wealthy country in the world, but many of us can't afford medicine. We eat and then complain we are fat. We go to war and cut taxes in the same year. We call doctors murders, but consider capital punishment just. We truly are a country that wants it's cake and eats it too, even if it takes 10 credit cards to buy the same cake everyone else on our block has. We buy SUV's when we live in the suburbs then have the nerve to complain about gas prices. We are a country with weakening math skills which is obviously linked to our lack of logic. But who cares right, we're the greatest damn country in the world and everyone needs to "respect our authori-tay". I do love this country, but I hate my government. I believe that something always needs fixed and always needs approved upon. Isn't that the basic of the American Dream, nothing is ever good enough?

What I find most abhorrent, it that we are fighting for freedom in the middle east and promoting "American Values" abroad. At the same time, we are censoring our own artists. Michael Moore (Bowling for Columbine) has distribution for his latest emotional and political critique, Fahrenheit 911, all over the world, except for here in the US. Thank you Mickey Mouse! Once again, Florida is trying to interfere in an election year. Can we sell it back to Spain? I mean, do we really need Florida? I can live without Miami Vice, Mickey Mouse, and palmetto bugs, can you?

This seems eerily reminiscent of "The Passion of the Christ" debacle when it couldn't find distribution. No matter your feelings on "Passion," it is now one of the highest grossing films of all time. While Moore isn't Jesus, he's tackling and issue that the people in power don't want to be associated with, religion and politics. I hope and pray everyday that someone who believes in freedom of speech and who has a strong sense of morality steps up and is willing to give this film to the masses, but I understand this is capitalist country. There for, all opinion and morality aside, there must be someone willing to put up the money to get this film out there. If it were a documentary praising Bush... What then? Is this Rome? Do we kill our leaders, disperse our senators, and exile all thinker and portrayer of thought that would challenge the Emperor? Rome fell fast from Republic to Empire all playing upon the fear of citizens for the security of Rome. I would rather die than live in an empire under the house of Bush.

"911" opened in France this week... What's that say about our Freedom Fries?

No, "Thank You" Cordelia Chase

Since I'm in Buffyverse mode today (yes I know it's dead, let a girl mourn alright) I figured I'd give my shout out to Playboy for the cover and spread featuring Charisma Carpenter (Cordelia Chase of BTVS & Angel).

I thought the swan song episode "Thank You" featuring Cordelia's death showed more of Cordi (jiggling in low cut shirts) than I ever wanted to see... I was wrong thanks to Playboy. I will admit that most of the pictures are great... but, the bear skin rug is a little to soft core looking for me. I prefer the FHM Women of Buffy spread from last year featuring the whole cast (minus Sarah). All in all, everyone I know has been oggling this Playboy issue, men and women, gay and straight. So, thanks for getting it out and moving on.

Oh, and Hollywood, cast this lady in Wonder Woman already!

Charisma Carpenter as Cordelia Chase in "Thank You" Angel's 100th Episode.

THE BOX: "Arrest" me Please!

In an era of bugs, bachelors, business, and BULLSHIT, it is a welcome development that a brilliant scripted sit com with a the best ensemble network television could create has NOT been axed. Bravo Fox... Bravo! This fall the neuroses come back with a whole new season of Arrested Development.

THE BOX - The end of the Buffyverse as we know it, or Screw "Tru"

In a surprising turn, Fox also picked up Tru Calling for a second season. Now, myself being an Eliza Dushku fan (Faith from Buffy the Vampire Slayer), I couldn't wait for this show last fall. That quickly changed. After 3 episodes, I had no desire to ever watch it again. Tru is weak and contrived and never evolves past the original gimmick: A girl is reluctantly forced into helping people with her unwanted super powers.

Although, in the hand of gifted writers, this gimmick can be used effectively... seen Wonderfalls anyone? In fact, for the brief two weeks that the 2 shows were slated back to back, it emphasized the utter superiority of Wonderfalls (created by Tim Miner of the Joss camp)and the mediocrity of Tru Calling. So what was Fox thinking? As my mother often said, it wasn't! The only remaining hope for the potential cult and critical favorite, Wonderfalls, is a WB pick up. If you were thinking UPN, think again. The network has stated it doesn't want other networks left overs (aka Buffy).

If that wasn't enough, this all impacts the evolution of Angel. Angel will end as we know it this Wednesday (tomorrow yo!) in an episode entitled "Not Fade Away." The WB's reincarnation of Dark Shadows - remember the NBC early 90's failed attempt to revived this brilliant show from the 60's and 70's - led to the brass at the WB staking Angel in it's 5th season. The WB should respect Vampires of the Buffyverse. Buffy brought them fame and acclaim long before Dawson, the Gilmore Girls, and Smallville. Respect your elders WB! Anyway, WB felt they couldn't have more than one vampire show at a time.

But, knowing the following and fan backlash, the WB doesn't want to Angel completely dead, they are thinking more of a hell dimension known as MOVIE OF THE WEEK. Angel is to end in a cliff hanger tomorrow night to lead the way for as many as 6 MOW's next season. One main character is already dead (Fred) and I'm predicting most of the "humans" will probably follow suit in the dark carnage filled season finale. Remaining would be the vamps - Angel and Spike - and the goddess Illyria to form the ultimate goth superhero team. But wait, there's more... Faith was supposed to return as the rogue vampire slayer. While the character Tru gets to relive days, Miss Eliza cannot... so with the renewal of Tru, the only inevitable conclusion is that Faith will live on only in DVD's and video games. Sadly we may never again to enjoy a box filled with Faith... so let's remember her the way we loved her - in leather pants with a bad ass quip.

So, how is all of this effecting the god of the Buffyverse, Joss, himself? He's to busy working on directing his first feature, Serenity, to care. I think I liked the old book Joss better.

BUY ME: Get Your Sex On....

Today is Tuesday, the most wonderful day of the week because we are blessed with a new plethora of dvd's.

This weeks BUY ME pick is:

Sex in the City Season 6 (Part 1) - The beginning of the end for our gang of girls and their tri-state boy toys. But why release it in two parts? Is it because HBO split the season into summer and winter episodes or is it simply to maximize profits (Kill Bill?). Whatever the case, there is no better DVD buy this week.

Monday, May 17, 2004

The World's Most Meloncholy Apple...

And it all started to make sense... that early morning email I recieved from D-Dog that simply said "Apple."

Gwyneth and the Coldplay guy (Chris Martin) welcomed their first child, a baby girl into the world yesturday.... and they called her APPLE... WTF?!?

THE BOX - Give me HBO or give me death!

NBC has unveiled it's fall line-up. With very little left on The Box that I actually watch (RIP Buffy, Wonderfalls, Angel, Friends, The Practice, and please hold on tight Arrested Development!) NBC isn't doing much to get me to tune in this September. Curb your Ethusiam and Arrested Development (HBO & Fox) are the only shows left with any real laughs and are strikingly original to humor. So all you comedy junkies, tune in these goods and let the Big 3 go!

(SIDENOTE: Since my paycheck relies on Fox... I would like to say that Fox is great, Fox is wonderful, It is the best ever network. I hold no hard feeling about the cancelling of Wonderfalls even though Tru Calling was given a whole season. Go Fox!)

Back to NBC... so, Yawn... could this line up BE more boring:

MONDAY: 8 p.m., "Fear Factor"; 9 p.m., "Las Vegas"; 10 p.m., new drama "LAX"

TUESDAY: 8 p.m., "Average Joe" (with "The Contender" in midseason); 9 p.m., new CGI-animated comedy "Father of the Pride"; 9:30 p.m., "Scrubs"; 10 p.m., "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"

WEDNESDAY: 8 p.m., new drama "Hawaii"; 9 p.m., "The West Wing" (with "Revelations" in midseason); 10 p.m., "Law & Order"

THURSDAY: 8 p.m., new comedy "Joey"; 8:30 p.m., "Will & Grace"; 9 p.m., "The Apprentice 2"; 10 p.m., "ER"

FRIDAY: 8 p.m., "Dateline NBC"; 9 p.m., "Third Watch" (new time); 10 p.m., new drama "Medical Investigation"

SATURDAY: 8 p.m., "Apprentice 2" repeats; 9 p.m., "NBC Saturday Night Movie"

SUNDAY: 7 p.m., "Dateline NBC"; 8 p.m., "American Dreams"; 9 p.m., "Law & Order: Criminal Intent"; 10 p.m., "Crossing Jordan"

Long Time no post

So I haven't really posted anything this week, I'm guessing that's because I've been busy writing. Yes, this week I broke out of work on Box pieces and have moved into the popcorn realm with my first screenplay attempt. I will be blogging more as more becomes available.

Also, sadly, Kevin "the Krazy Tyger" no longer has a girlfriend. Can we get a big community "Awe, sorry kev" going?

BOX REVIEW - Looking Back on a Decade of T.V.

First let my state that it took me 10 years to realize that there were 2 characters named Rachel Green on NBC's Thursday night line up. Besides Friends, there is the less likable now teenage daughter of the late Dr. Green's (Anthony Edwards) on ER. She was a wee lass when the series premiered making Mad about You, Friends, Seinfeld, and ER the powerhouse of Thursday night.

There have been many retro-spectives done about the show, but being from the generation of "Friends"... here is how show impacted my life and lessons all my "friends" learned.

1. I cut all my hair off at 15 sparking the debate as to whether my shag more resembled Rachel's or Monica's hair. Thus, 10 years of mimicking "Friends" hair began.... well there was that brief period of Clair Danes/Angela hair too.

2. It gave our high school clique something to talk about lunch when we all hated each other over petty and sometimes serious teenage crap.

3. It gave us easy ways to superficially classify people. Such as, "Angie only like's Chandler types" or "My roomate drives me crazy. She's such a Monica!"

4. When trying to get out a bad date, all you had to do was the Janice laugh.

5. Before we had the girls of "Sex", "Friends" gave girls confirmation that everyone is just as crazy and neurotic as you... unless you can identify with Phoebe. Then you are just strange.

6. Tall thin blonde girls (Phoebe) don't always have a perfect life and be nice to the fat brunette!

7. It's okay to sleep with your ex-boyfriend whenever you need a pick me up. It doesn't make you a slut. In fact, it's normal behavior.

8. Women do not logically define a "break" the same way as men.

9. There should be no "cupping" by a tailor.

10. Family isn't always just your blood. It's who you laugh, cry, sleep, eat, and drink coffee with. It's who, no matter the dim or scathing wit, condescending or up lifting tone, drug problem or sobriety, that you can spend 10 years by each others' side with out a stack of bodies piled up in the celler.

The future: In 1994, Friends was credited with ushering in a new era of the sitcom. For every Murphy Brown, Cheers, and Seinfeld, it was the family that dominated this tv form. Friends showed that family wasn't just mom, dad, kids, and a brownstone with a butler or housekeeper or something eles thrown in for comedy. In 2004, Friends represents the end of the genre all together. In fact, Will & Grace and Arrested Development are the only shows i'll be tuning in for. That includes Joey. He was my least liked character on the entire series. While The Burbs, features Chandler and Monica would slightly peak my interest, Joey's exploits in L.A. leave no aching desire for more.

Lisa Kudrow is by far the most talented and I hope she has a long award winning career ahead of her in film and theater. Jennifer Aniston has poplular appeal but aside from an excellent turn in the Good Girl has yet to show any acting chops. I have a feeling she will become the poor man's Julia Roberts for sugar coated roles. She's set to be a powerhouse producer with husband Brad and their already establish shingle. David Schwimmer most likely will end up behind the camera directing t.v. and maybe crossing over into film. Ms. Cox-Arquette continues to make millions off her real estate mogal status and really never needs to work again. She'll probably to occasional guest appearances and hopefully tackle some gritty low budget roles. As for Perry and LeBlanc, they have little success outside Friends making them extremely tied to their characters. In fact, I love Chandler, but have very little interest in Perry. Because of that, I see them falling below the radar and living merely in T.V. syndication.

That's all I really have to say. The finale was happier than it was sad. It was predictable to just the right extent. We said hello to a new generation of Bings and Ducks good-bye to the standard and comfortable.

BOX REVIEWS - D-Dog Says Good-bye


Tis a sad day for me, but an oh-so-happy one.

So, finale review first or toasts and goodbyes???

I'll go with the finale then my retrospective


(Eh, why not?)

It remained consistently funny till about the last 10 minutes, which didn't mean there wasn't a few tears to be had in the first 50.

First off, my complaints: I have 2. Anna Faris and Paul Rudd. "Hi! Here have your babies!" "Hi! Let's have some kids!" Thanks for our paychecks. Bye. Anywho, it was probably good that they kept it to just the six of them.

Now the good:

The best part of this episode was truly Phoebe. My god, I think Lisa is the most talented cast member. She was just so funny. The whole phalange thing was great. And constantly wanting to make life a musical. Haha, now someone understands.

Second best was Rachel and Ross getting together. I loved the fact that at first she got on the airplane telling him no. But when she showed up at apartment.....

Anywho......yeah, Chandler and Joey hugging almost made me cry. And the final show of the frame, was, "perfection." I love the last line about going to get coffee. Perfection.


So the clip show was like nothing but "I LOVE THAT EPISODE!" for me!

Pretty much all my favorites were in there...

So now, everything I'll miss about friends:

-Smelly Cat
-Central Perk
-Gunther, Janice, Frank, Alice, Mike, Ursala, the Gellars, and the other friends-in-laws
-"I'll Be There For You" (you know you sing along and even clap at the right time, don't deny it)
-Phoebe's secret weapon: her sexuality
-all the weddings
-the backlash..yes..the "they are all white!! how can they afford that stuff?? its just a fad"..and suck on that, lasted 10 years
-the cliffhanger season finales
-the guest stars (Brad Pitt & Christina Applegate probably being the best)
-the love interests
-Jon Lovitz saying Tartlets
-Thanksgiving with Friends
-the competitive nature of Ross and Monica
-such as against each other when they are playing football, or against others when they are dancing during New Years....haha..they played that during the clip show and i lost it
-the girls and guys switching apartments
-the hilarious game that led up to that
-the "they don't know we know they know we know" ...probably best written episode of series
-Phoebe's dollhouse
-Mr. Heckles "I have to rejoin my dinner party"
-Ross's leather pants
-any of Phoebe's songs
-the blackout
-Chandler giving us a new way to sarcastically say things (Could that BE any clearer?)
-the chick and the duck
-Ugly Naked Guy (and the giant poking device!)/"Its naked ROSS"
-any battle of the sexes discussion, or actual battles
-Joey and Rachel's romance and its simple, yet realistic, outcome
-Monica's hair in Barbados (Sorry you broke up with the Supremes)
-the wedding dress episode
-the episode where winona ryder and rachel kissed, then phoebe kissing rachel to see what all the fuss was about
-Phoebe's pregnancy
-Monica talking about Easy-Monica's bakery
-Emily's rugby hunks (YUM!)
-Monica and Richard
-Monica proposing to Chandler (probably the all-time greatest FRIENDS kleenex moment)
-Joey's agent, Estelle
-the gang's mocking of Ross and his job
-Carol and Susan's wedding (long before the days of ellen and just jack)
-the hermaphodite cheerleader from long island
-the super bowl episode
-Monica's cleanliness
-Monica fainting when her wedding dishes break
-the one with the morning after - the episode i don't watch cause its so heartbreaking
-Rachel's dessert, the one with beef that Joey likes that Ross says "tastes like feet"
-Chandler fake-farting when Rachel hugs him on the 2nd to last episode
-Joey's head in the chicken
-Chandler in a box
-"I take thee, Rachel!"
-Emma & Ben were never major characters
-"How you doin?"
-Monica's picture of her grandmother with her friends at Java Joe's....
-and pretty much everything about the series....but...

Here are the 3 best things about Friends:

3. Prom Videos, Fat Monicas, and other Flashbacks or What Might Have Been's
(self explanatory)

2. Jennifer Aniston
Has television produced a brighter, more popular star in the past 20 years? I think not! From offscreen with Brad Pitt to the Good Girl, to Rachel Green on-screen. THE HAIR!!! The Rachel!! How many people can actually pull that off and look as great as her??? Not many, if any at all. And look back at her wardrobe. Jeez. Everything she wore was fabulous. But let's not forget Miss Aniston, the comedian. Long before she won her respect (and the much deserved Emmy) for Season 8's pregnancy, go back to season 4 and watch The One With the Fake Party where Rachel throws a fake going away party for Emily just to get Josh's attention. I love when she tries to play spin the bottle and dresses like the cheerleader. Then, in the Wedding Dress episode, when she suggests to Joshua that they get married...omg..her hand gesture and face kill me!!! She's the most popular of the cast for a reason. What a beauty! What a star!

1. The Chemistry

There's this magic spark between everyone on the show. You can pair them off any way, and its comic gold. That's it....

I think the show works best as a romantic comedy, like TV guide once sparkles like no other show...

So I did Jennifer Aniston as Rachel Green....

Courteney Cox Arquette as Monica Gellar Bing...OMG.. how I love her! FAT MONICA is so hilarious.. I think after CCA put on the suit, she found out the character, and I've loved Monica ever since. The weird thing about her is that whenever I watch any Scream, I never think of Monica. When I watch Friends, I don't think of Gale. Most improved cast member of the years...

Lisa Kudrow as Phoebe Buffet....Her delivery is impeccable... I think the best cast cast member of the series (if that's even possible to label)...Season 4 & 5 are so great for her...when she gives birth and says goodbye to the triplets...well, she most deserved those Emmy's.

Matt Le Blanc as Joey Tribiani...his soap opera scenes crack me up..."Smell the fart acting." .his daffy nature make the most endearing character on the show....Good luck with Joey, Matt....Him holding Rachel as she watches great! And the one where he buys the V edition of the encyclopedia, and Monica starts talking about the Korean War...

Matthew Perry as Chandler Bing...BING! Probably the funniest of the bunch, I love how neurotic he is in the first season to how he uses that to calm Monica down in the later years...these two are so perfectly cast....and Janice! Love the Mr. Heckles dying one..shows a real soft side.

David Schwimmer as Ross Gellar....all the weddings! I love when he jokes about how many times he's been married. And all the lesbianism jokes at the beginning. Ross is the perfect nerdy hunk, too! I love the one where Marcel swallows the scrable letters and Ross rushes him to the hospitol. and Marcel holds Ross's finger and the song New York Minute plays...

So now, I have to say goodbye to all those people. My favorite show is over. Long live syndication!!! Thinking about Thursday nights with all 6 of my friends makes me sad, but thinking about all the above things makes me so happy.

Lots of laughs, lots of tears....and they got the perfect ending....
I'm so glad they were there for me....sorta like friends...but actually, I think of those guys as my tv family.




BILL ZWECKER of the Chicago Sun Times reported last week that Larry is about to become "Linda".

According to the paper, Wachowski has been living and dressing as a woman for a while and is now ready to make his manhood a thing of the past. Currently, the Matrix maker is in the midst of a messy divorce from Thea Bloom, who is demanding a share of his "Matrix" millions.

Bloom claimed "Larry has been extremely dishonest with me in our personal life" and said the decision to split was "based on very intimate circumstances concerning which I do not elaborate at this time for the reasons of his personal privacy."

There is no comment from the Wachowski camp, which is hardly surprising given the fact the ultra-reclusive auteur is so media-shy he reportedly had a no-publicity clause added to his contract with Warner Bros.

For more information, including the nitty gritty on a S&M sex shop scandle, read the entire Sun-Times article 'Matrix' co-creator ready to be whole new woman

NEWS - The Mouses Blocks Moore's "911" Doc (transfered from May 5th)

Of the horrible things large conglomorates are responsible for, this is the most extreme infrigement of free speech in years and deserves a very prompt citizen response. Letter writing to the press and to Disney, circulating information about the article or the article itself in an email to any and everyone who believes is free speech, anything to express outrage will help.

Disney has forbidden Miramax to distribute Fahrenheit 9/11, the newest documentry by Michael Moore, because it deals with the long standing relationship the Bush's have had with the Saudi royal family and Osama bin Ladin. Disney is afraid of angering Jeb Bush, the governor of Florida, and in response losing the special treatment tax breaks that his administration affords the conglom.

Here is the full NY Times article "Disney Forbidding Distribution of Film That Criticizes Bush". Moore's response can be found on

To anyone who follows entertainment or business news, you most likely are aware of the debauchle Eisner, CEO, found himself in last quarter with the Disney Shareholders. Roy Disney is still lobbying to oust Eisner. Below is contact information for the governing board of directors for the Walt Disney Co. In the end, they are the ones who have the ability to fire or veto Eisner. This information has been provided by Roy Disney's site... Send a post card, it couldn't hurt.

The Walt Disney Company Board of Directors

John E. Bryson
John Chen
Judith L. Estrin
Robert A. Iger
Alwyn Lewis
Monica C. Lozano
George J. Mitchell (Chairman of the Board)
Leo J. O'Donovan
Robert W. Matschullat
Gary L. Wilson

You can write to them at:

The Walt Disney Company
500 S. Buena Vista Street
Burbank, CA 91521-0752

POPCORN REVIEW: "Mean Girls" is so Fetch!


Mean Girls, staring Lidsey Lohan, finally tackles the age old question: "Which is more difficult, surviving the African Bush or making it through a suburban Chicago High School?" (Attention Mark Burnett: Idea for the next season of Survivor!) Cady (Lohan) grows up in Africa with eccentric and intellectual parents who superbly home schooled her in academics, but failed to socialize her to the ways of the suburbia. Ill-prepared and naive, Cady finds herself longing for the animal kingdom while lost in the passive aggressive anxious mess that is High School. After falling in with the neurotic angry artsy girl Janice and her hefty gay side kick, Cady is wrapped up in teen turmoil to bring down The Plastics... the clique of girls everyone hates yet still wants to be. Soon, like a vice cop going undercover, the lines of place and purpose and truth and lies become blurred. Cady loses herself and her friends in the quest of Queen-Bee status in a manner that makes the African queen Cleopatra look timid.

Mean Girls is smart, stylish, and in it's own way, socially conscious. Can a girl be gorgeous and good at calculus? Can she honestly get a man by honestly being herself? The screenplay adaptation by Tina Fey garnered more laughs per minute than most comedies in recent memory. Flanked my many SNL colleagues and alums, this cast is full of scene stealing comedians without too much of over the top gross out humor. Not to be over looked, no teen assemble is complete without some man candy. Jonathan Bennett provides a dose so sweet some might find themselves asking how many licks does it take to get to the center of a...... OOPS! Well, you get the picture.

As for the movie's star, last summer Miss Lohan proved she can hold her own against Jamie Lee Curtis in another Mark Walters helmed pic (Freaky Friday), and this spring is proving she can carry a film all her own. Destined to be a super star performer, Mean Girls has crowned Lohan the reigning Teen Queen by being smart, funny, neurotic, sexy, classy, and most importantly a great actress. In the current world of celebrity skin and child star peter pan syndromes, she sets an example not only for the girl next door, but her industry counter parts could learn a thing or too as well.

Whether you're a 20 or 30 something feeling you've grown up too fast, a 13 year old girl dreading the transition to high school in the fall, a 15 year old boy looking for some eye candy, or a mom or dad looking to understand the wacky ways of your 17 year old daughter, this film has something for everyone of every age. Mean Girls breathes new breath into a sometimes played out genre. As the heir apparent to Fast Times, The Breakfast Club, Heathers, and Clueless, Mean Girls is the queen of the Spring Fling.

New Home

Hello Bloggers:

The Brain Drain has moved to a new blogging community. Don't worry, it's the same great entertainment, pulp culture, random thoughts, and political taste, just a different look. Everyone I know is rather opinionated, so don't hold back. Feedback makes me feel loved. I'm high maintenance so it takes a lot of love. I will be transfering the old weblogs from May into the new home. Be patient with my formatting also. I'm kind a new and learning as I go. Also, when it comes to the transfered posts, most of the links don't work... I already know this.

Welcome to the Brain Drain!