Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Let One Become Two: Revisiting Secession

This morning, while perusing section A of the local newspaper, I happened upon two pages with headlines I couldn't for the life of me ignore. The first, "boatload of African migrants arrives at Spanish nudist beach" is pretty self explanatory. The second, Christian Group plans to secede from the U.S., got me thinking.

Since I was 16, idealistic, and a democrat sitting in my United State history class taught by the most brilliant teach to ever live, my political opinions have done a complete 180. Well strike that, my ideals haven't changed as much as my education and understanding of the United States government and society have. I used to be pro-life because I found abortion abhorrent. Now, I'm pro choice because I do not assume to right to enforce my beliefs on others if offered the same accord. I used to to be pro capital punishment. Now, I understand the ultimate fallibility of our justice system and how many people have been executed by mistake. I used to be a democrat because of the great good FDR encompassed. It's for the same reason I supported higher taxes and a large "parental" central government. Now, I'm a Republican because I believe the government is consists of ambitious men and it interferes more than it protects, it hurts more than it helps. I now also believe in the strong rights of states to make the decisions that is right for a majority of its citizens.

We are big. We are huge. We are a nation run predominately by men, who, for their own insecurities, believe bigger is always better. Whether it's a hummer, a rocket ship, or a tv... men like things big. Women on the other hand seem more obsessed with small things. Whether it's a desire to be petite, a cute black cocktail dress, an itsy bitsy bikini, a tiny convertible, or a perfect 5 carat rock over a television set... mothers often tell their daughters the best things come in small packages. In a smaller setting, a more socialist approach to human welfare is possible... universal healthcare for example. The groups of people are smaller and easier to accommodate. I believe that if California wants to legalize gay marriage, and Oklahoma doesn't... that should be allowed. If Pennsylvania wants freedom of firearms but Florida wants to ban them, that should be allowed.

Now, a group of Texan Christians plan to pilgrimage to South Carolina to secede from the Union, and in my humble opinion, that should be allowed. I grew up a child of divorce, and unlike some, I never championed the "Parent Trap" fantasy. My parents fought and emotionally hurt each other. I loved them both but understood that separate is better in come cases. We can't all get along. The Israelis and Palestinians can't. The Greeks and Turks can't. After thousands of years, there is still violence. So, if this group of Christians wants to secede, and take South Carolina with them... I fully support it.

Granted, this group at ChristianExodus.org is comparing itself to the Amish. I live and was raised in Amish Country. The Amish don't care what the "English" do. They farm and live as they always have. The problem, since Paul in the new testimate, is that Christians feel the need to alter everyone around them. Collectively, they have the need to prove that they are "right". Granted, they say they are saving the heathens. I believe in, because I do it, following the teachings of Jesus without infringing on the freedom of others.... Sadly, this is not the popular consensus.

So, the first exodus is scheduled in a trek to the promise land in 2006. My thought, why stop with South Carolina! I, over my breakfast, have decided that we should establish a Christian run conservative country (Redland) and have a human rights and liberty oriented secular country (The Blue Person Group).

Here is what I propose:

The New Promiseland Red Country:

The Christians are more than welcome to Texas, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Kansas, Arkansas, Missouri, Mississippi, Alabama, and Both Carolinas. We can negotiate on South Dakota, Iowa, Georgia, and Kentucky. Tennessee remains non-negotiable and belongs to the "blue". Florida would be divided just south of Orlando. The Red country would get Disney World and all points north. South Florida would belong to the secular country, including the Keys. New Orleans would become a principality separate from Louisiana. LA will go to the Red and New Orleans to the Blue.

Really, wouldn't that simply make everyone happier?


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