Monday, October 11, 2004

THE BOX: Desperate's Wysteria Hysteria

I'm the number one slut in America!

DH 1-02: "Ah, But Underneath"

Gabrielle, underneath the platinum and diamond exterior, is suffering silently, but not alone. To counter her boring relationship with her husband, Gabrielle's escapades with John - the teenage gardener - have stepped up a notch. She and John are nearly caught. To avoid any future issues, Gabrielle decided to bang John as his house, while his mom is coaching his sister's soccer team. John give Gabrielle one perfect rose as a gift only to be apparently one upped by her husband who gives her a luxury convertible. Gabrielle realizes that John is falling in love with her.

Lynette is struggling with her boys rowdy mini-van antics. A cop pulls the van over and critiques Lynette's mothering skills. She snaps at the cop, who scared by her, only issues a warning. The nosiest neighbor on the block tells Lynette to abandon her boys along side of the road and drive around the block to pick them back up. Lynette takes the advice, but her scared straight tactics backfire. A plump and overly opinionated woman takes the boys in for milk and cookies. When the woman confronts a frantic Lynette about her anger management issues, the boys bite, push, and torture the woman demonstrating the full force that Lynette is up against. They cease their van antics and quickly drive back to Wysteria Lane.

Bree convinces Rex to attend marriage counseling instead of filing for divorce. Bree's icy exterior doesn't melt on the counseling couch as she makes small talk. Rex is frustrated by his wife's perfection seeking persona. He stands her up at counseling session two hoping she might unwind alone. Bree, through each session, has be transfixed by the thread bare buttons of the therapist's coat and is completely unable to relax. Bree refuses the solo opportunity, but then returns begging to fix the button. As she stitches the doctor's blazer, Bree gives her own psycho-analysis of Dr. Freud who she believes was ungrateful for all the back-breaking work his mother did for him. Bree lets out some of her Freudian fears. While stitching, she vents subtly that her need for perfection comes from the common social belief that most adult neuroses evolve from their insufficient mothers.

Susan and Edie continue to go head to head for Plumber Mike's affection. Noisy neighbor, whose name I can't remember but is into everyone's business, finds Susan's measuring cup in the remains of Edie's fire-ridden house. Susan invites Mike to dinner with herself and her daughter Jenna. Mike offers to cook instead and invites his new neighbors to dinner. Susan has her seduction planned with excuses for Jenna to stay at home. Edie finds out and uses her cunning sexplotative skills to get an invitation too. Susan shows up early to score some alone time with Mike, only to find Edie in the kitchen already. Susan realizes she's "losing" to Edie who is bonding with Mike's dog. So, to get in with the German Sheppard, Susan dabs beef gravy on her pressure points. The dog begins to lap her up and accidentally inhales a chandelier earring. Scared and angry, Mike rushes his doggie to the vet. Susan and Mike wait for the dog to "pass" the earring. Mike confesses that he's a widow and that the dog was his wife's. He apologizes for snapping. Susan realizes she has stiffer competition that Edie, and for now at least, throws in the towel.

Mary Alice's husband and son are still creepy. Her husband pulled a chest out from the hole he dug in the pool. After making sure the chest was security shut, he dropped it off the pier in the middle of the night. Apparently, he didn't feel the need to weigh it down. At the end of the show, the mystery chest surfaces.


At 11:06 AM, Blogger Darren said...

What's with the brief outlines of the previous episodes??? I'd rather have commentary! I think its a body. They burried it down there, Mary Alice knew about, told someone, then they used that against her. She killed herself, her husband now redigs it back up, then dumps it away. But who is this mystery person?

At 12:13 PM, Blogger Mitchell - Crumrine said...

You want commentary, eh? Well, I'm hoping that neighbor lady that Edie's living with get's wacked first of all. Lynette needs more play. I'm assuming the chest under the pool is a dead body because that's what it's set up to be. Before Mr. Mary Alice tossed it over the pier, I was thinking buried treasure. Mike has lot's of dark and dirty secrets and may be linked to Mary Alice. Her son gives me the proverbial "wiggins".


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