Tuesday, March 29, 2005


Hole star, Courtney Love, has been cast as porn star Linda Lovelace who was most famous for her anatomically abnormal "Deep Throat" character. The film's working title is "Lovelace". Lovelace later said that she was basically a sex slave of the adult industry and drugged to perform. She died a couple years ago. Love on the other hand was the wife of musical legend Kurt Cobain. Her handling of the rights to his recordings and journals as well as other alcohol and drug offenses, has made Love a star of Court over the past few years. In the late 1990's with the help of Milos Forman, Love actually gained respect for her roles in "The People v. Larry Flint" and "The Man on the Moon." PvLF is one of my all time favorite films. It's not hard to see Love expanding her portfolio from Althea Flint, former centerfold AIDS junkie to Linda Lovelace.

Monday, March 28, 2005

i love being a girl! or whatever

So, I found myself mildly offended by a personality quiz today. If you're used to my Lost ramblings, you know that I absolutely love Sayid, Locke, and Sawyer. While checking out the ent news wire on zap2it, I happened upon a test. We all know our favorites but...

Which castaway are you most like?

I couldn't resist and honestly was bored at work. I figured I'm somewhere between Hurley and Dr. Jack, but no standout "oh I'm totally (*#@!!." Well I took the test and according to my results, I'm a Shannon. WTF?

"People are happy to build your shelter and catch your fish because your pretty. Pretty people do not work - it ruins manicures. Besides, being pretty IS work. Why do ugly people not get that."

This is about as far from my personality as I can imagine. I'm not even pretty. Okay, well I'm pretty, but I'm not blonde in a string bikini pretty. I'm not Maggie Grace pretty. I've never had a manicure either. Okay, well if substitute "pretty" with "intelligent" this would totally fit. But pretty? I'm not that vein. I'm oodles of insecurity. Do I have an inner celebutant? Am I an inner selfish bitch? Nah... didn't think so. Will someone else please take this wacky test and let me know if your results are anywhere close to accurate?

Alyson tests the power of three

I love Alyson Hannigan which is apparent to anyone who reads the blog. You should love Alyson too! After what was reported to be a poor choice with her development deal at NBC ("Americana"), Hannigan signed on for a supporting role with ABC's "In the Game" staring Jennifer Love Hewitt. Both projects fell though.

Since she hung up her witch willowness on "Buffy", Hannigan (also star of the American Pies) has been doing plays in the West End and guest staring on "Veronica Mars." The actress has widely publicized that she wants a 1/2 hour comedy gig. Well, making her third attempt, thirty one year old Hannigan has signed on to "How I met your mother" a sitcom for CBS which sounds Raymond-y.

the good... the bad...

The upside is that Zach Braff - best director of last year with Garden State - will be directing something other than episodes of "Scrubs"... a music video. Yes! The bad news is that it's for Gavin Degraw who's OTH song is quite possibly one of most annoying songs I've heard this past year. No! It's right up there with that damn whiny obnoxious "Beautiful Soul" song which I might ad also has WB connections.

The video is for the song "Chariot" and should be on air sometime in the next month.

Friday, March 25, 2005

it's like salman rushdie and paris hilton

  • Michael works for SD-6?
  • Lily was too "frumpled"?
  • Dom as Sawyer?
  • Holloway on When Animals Attack?
If the palm tree's a rockin...

I'm talking about Boone and Shannon of course peoples. Get the goodies on Lost including the finale's not to final ending - uh, Angel fans, hello? Remember when Darla emerged from that cage. You yelled OH SHIT! Right? Or 24 peoples, when Teri was shot and the clock started ticking as she was bleeding in Jack's arms, NO!!!! I hate cliff hangers, but I have to admit, I love them. I can't wait to see what JJ will pull. Also, if you're that jackass playing "the numbers" in powerball, Jorge wants you to stop. For more gossipy goodness... Kristen's column this week on Eonline is all about Lost. Yes peoples, the wait is almost over.

To pre order Lost (Season One).

they call it "the moon"

If you love to shake your meatwad, you'll be happy to know that Aqua Teen has been picked up for another season. That means all new episodes starting in the fall and a possible movie for 2006. Click here for a special message from the mooninites.

it's a sin

A week from today, Sin City, a film that promises to be the most groundbreaking and visually stunning film of the decade will open in theaters across the company.

Directors make many sacrafices, especially the great ones. Have you ever tried it? Anyway, Robert Rodriguez made a huge sacrafice for Sin City. He reliquished his membership in the DGA to make it. Apparently, having buddy Quentin Tarentino credited as guest director was against the rules. The two also buddied up on From Dusk til Dawn and two for the four stories in Four Rooms, both back in the 90's. It's quite apparent who wrote and directed what seeing that each has a distinct style.

You might not think that getting kicked out of the DGA is all that big a deal, but then you'd be wrong (ha!). It's not just a little club. The guild's sign contracts with the producers and studios so that only persons in their networks can work for each other. This means that RR has to operate completely outside the studio system. Granted, this is what he's done most of his career, but it set limitations. Imagine what this man could do with a budget. I mean, look what Sam Raimi did with one: Spiderman.

"I mean, I can't do a studio movie that was developed by a studio now, but that just means, you know, I should be doing my own material." ~Robert Rodriguez

Creativity is something that should never have limits placed upon it.

we need the pain to enjoy the glory

For you fellow Lost junkies, Zap2it.com has an interview with Josh Holloway who plays my favorite castaway, Sawyer. Check it out.

The best part is according to the article, Lost will be back with all new episodes March 30th which is about 2 weeks earlier than was first reported. YAY!

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

THE BOX: Do it to me one more time...

Fuck you, Fox.

Okay, so someone at Fox is on the hot seat once it was discovered all the votes from last night on American Idol (or Idiots) were invalidated. As it turns out there was a SNAFU with the phone number system including which number was allotted to which contestant. So not wanting to hurt their precious, Fox has bumped the results show and inturn is running an hour of American Idol tonight (9 p.m. when you should be watching Alias). They are rerunning last night performances with a "live element" which undoubtly will be Seacrest trying to sell you Coke and a Ford and a Cingular cell phone. The results show will air at 9 p.m. Thursday.

Now for the BAD NEWS...

"Life on a Stick"'s highly promoted premier tonight has been completely preempted to make room for the heftier AI. LOS's preem has be pushed back to 9:30 p.m. on Thursday following the results show... or THE SAME TIME AS THE OFFICE!!!

Fuck you, Fox.

POPCORN: hbo and new line turn newmarket fine

Newmarket Films, most famously distributors of Monster and The Passion of the Christ along with other independent and arthouse fare, has an admire. New Line Cinema and HBO Films just announced plans acquire Newmarket Films
and combine it with specialty label Fine Line.

be back before dawn

March has been a bleh month for the Brain Drain as it’s been a bleh month in general falling off the Academy Awards and Lost’s “Numbers”.

I could again tell you how brilliant Arrested Development was this week, but you should already know that because you should be watching it!

Desperate Housewives is returning with new episodes on Sunday – THANK GOD! I can’t remember the lasteepisode I saw. I certainly don’t remember what happened.

Tonight after AI results show, Fox is premiering “Life on a Stick” which from the previews looks quite funny. It is on opposite Alias which is the downer – 9:30 on Fox. If you’re a sitcom lover at heart, check it out.

Speaking of sitcoms, Thursday NBC’s Americanized version of The Office will premier. This has the makings of the next Arrested Development – News Radio type show. Don’t miss this. Unless you just can’t miss the latest corpse on the lastest drone forensic show, at 9:30 p.m. you should be watching The Office. Here’s to hoping it doesn’t suck. It does star Steve Carrell folks; how bad could it be? Anyway, what better way to follow up shark jumping lesbians and oversexed adults on Fox.

Now for the interesting news, every damn story since Friday seems to involve a Buffy/Mutant Enemy alum.

Joss Whedon is writing/directing Wonder Woman which I mentioned earlier. While many ME followers know Joss’s tendency to cast those he’s familiar with – much speculation fell in the Charisma Carpenter/Sarah Michelle Geller corner. Me, guilty, I know. Joss himself at the recent Wizard World (a geek-a-thon I’m guessing) convention answered questions about Wonder Woman. As reported by zap2it.com…

---“The audience laughed accordingly until he [Joss] swiveled to look at Morena Baccarin -- a brunette "Serenity" cast member sitting to his left -- and added, "Where will I find a dark-haired, olive-skinned beauty?" The hundreds of fans crammed into the Long Beach Convention Center's ballroom went wild. Whedon strengthened the message that Baccarin was a contender to play the heroine, when afterwards he was seen discussing "Wonder Woman" with her at his side.

As for X3 which Joss was rumoured to at one point direct, that assignment has been given to “Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" producer Matthew Vaughn.

In more news, Eliza Dusku (Faith from “Buffy”/”Angel”) will again see the harsh light of day as Tru Calling’s final “lost” episodes find airtime. Before Gail – hates Arrested Development – Berman steps down from her post at Fox to take over Paramount, she pushed Tru to replace Point Pleasant at the 9 p.m. Thursday time slot. This was the home held by Tru Calling last year where the show out performed both North Shore and Point Pleasant. Point, if you need reminding was created by Marti Noxon, former Buffy exec producer and and gifted writer. Unfortunately, PP is very poor in quality, at least the hand full of episodes I’ve seen. To it’s credit though, so was the first season of Buffy.

To all you Tru Calling fans, don’t get your hopes up. The show is still cancelled. The final six episodes begin airing March 31st.

In my final bit of news, Michelle Trachtenberg (“Harriet the Spy”/”Eurotrip”) best known as Dawn Summers, Buffy’s kid sis, is currently appearing in Ice Princess. Yes, this is the film that Kim Cattrall dissed her “Sex in the City” co-stars for in turn foiling any plots for a “Sex” movie. Riiiiight.

Trachtenberg has been announced as the star of “The Dive From Clausen's Pier” which is based on the book of the same title. This is a Lifetime film and looks downright painful to have to watch, but it’s being adapted by Harry Winer, a writer on both Veronica Mars and Alias. Okay, Lifetime? If you need a Dawnie fix like so many men I know disturbingly do, I recommend checking out Mysterious Skin, the new film by Doom Generation and Nowhere filmmaker Greg Araki.

Friday, March 18, 2005

Wonder Woman battle has begun…

Okay, actually it’s be going on for well over a year now. Both Sarah Michelle Gellar and Charisma Carpenter, former "Buffy" co-stars, have made it clear they want to step into Linda Carter’s boustier. While each have offered different physical assets to the part (I’m talking butt kicking skills people), things got very interesting yesterday when it was made official, Joss Whedon - creator of both "Buffy" and "Angel" - will write and direct the big screen version of the girlie superhero.

This isn’t the first time SMG and CC have competed for apart. Any Buffy fan knows that Carpenter auditioned for Buffy and Geller for the part of Cordelia. Joss on the other hand loved both girls, but saw them differently.

While I personally believe Carpenter would be far better suited for the role (and the costume), let’s not forget she and Joss are not the best of friends. During season four of Angel (2002-2003), Carpenter dropped the bombshell that she was pregnant. This unfortunately created a problem for Chase character, a loving warrior who became a super sexy sword wielding love interest in the third season. Rumors then surfaced that Joss was furious with Carpenter and had to rework the entire story arch of the season turning it into an Oedipal like theme - love your mother, kill your father – centered around Conor. Joss then killed the character of Cordelia Chase by putting her in a coma at the end of season four and killing her off in season five (“You’re Welcome”). The show became a misogynist catastrophe without Carpenter and was cancelled only a couple weeks after the You’re Welcome episode aired.

While SMG starred in the haunting beautiful Japanese horror film The Grudge last fall, Carpenter has been well off the radar with only guest TV spots on the cancelled Miss Match and Charmed. Carpenter has never had a feature film career while SMG also has credits in Scream 2, I Know What You Did Last Summer, and Cruel Intentions on her resume just to name a few.

Whedon’s feature film directing debut will hit the screen this spring, Serenity. The film is adapted from his short lived television series Firefly. He has also been rumored to take the rains of X3 while Bryan Singer dives into Superman Returns. Whedon’s film writing credits include Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992), Toy Story, Alien: Ressurection, and Titan A.E.

Why don’t we offer Amy Acker and Eliza Dushku the role too? We can throw all for ladies into a vat of jello and whip cream. Last woman standing is most wonderous.

"Planning life as a loser? Most people just turn out that way, but you're really taking charge"
~Cordielia Chase on Xander Harris

In even more Buffy related news, Nicholas Brendon who played Xander Harris for seven years has just signed on the Darren Star pilot “Kitchen Confidential” for Fox. He’ll play a pastry chef. I find it quite ironic seeing that the character of Xander is so similar to my Ben… and guess what he does for a living? Ironic. Since Buffy went dark, witty and talented Brendon hasn’t done much but enter rehab.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

March (Movie) Madness

So this week I began my 4:30 a.m. wake up call and have been passing the wee morning hours with cycling, steam yoga, strength training, and all that jazz. With the lack of Desperate Housewives and Lost these past couple weeks, I'm bored. Luckily Arrested Development has been on an ultra-brilliant streak. One word: MotherBoy. I've also become very into That 70's Show reruns and am developing a strange attraction to Hyde. What can I say, I love a smart ass. P.S. Lost isn't set to comeback and wrap up the season until mid April. One more time, Damn you ABC!

Anyway, Darren sent me an amusing link this morning that takes on film like college basketball. I immediately thought of a friend of mine who was always most happy (or least sad) during March. Now if you could combine the experience of his favorite comedies with the "excitement" of March Madness, I'm sure he'd be almost happy!

Will Miss Agnes take Best In Show? Or will she be left Waiting for Guffman?

Anyway, I took the time to weigh the films in my own mind from the four different divisions: Broad Comedy, SNL Alums, Smart Comedy, Classic Comedy. It was very difficult. How does one ever choose between The Graduate and Dr. Strangelove? Or, between Best in Show and Election? It was very close.

My final four came down to Shaun of the Dead, Beverly Hills Cop, Best in Show, and The Graduate. At the end of the day, Best In Show, took best in show.

Play for yourself, share your champion with me.

Friday, March 11, 2005

et tu Bruce Willis?

Looks like Lindsay might be tired of Rumours, but not her Dad... read on:

LOS ANGELES (Zap2it.com) - If the rumors were true, both Bruce Willis and Lindsay Lohan would have one-upped their exes.

The two were reportedly doing some die-hard canoodling at the after party of Willis' premiere for "Hostage" on Tuesday, March 8, although flacks for both insist their charges behaved in a strictly professional manner, report news sources.

"She is not interested in Bruce Willis in any way but as the producer of her next film," says Lohan's rep. Willis is producing the romantic comedy "Just My Luck," which co-stars "Princess Diaries 2" hunk Chris Pine.

Willis, 49, allegedly embraced Lohan, 18, throughout the evening, to the point that her pants slipped down to display a tattoo -- that her spokesperson describes as on her "lower back" -- that reads "La Bella Vita" (The Good Life), not "La Bella Vista" (The Beautiful View) as an eyewitness cheekily insisted earlier.

The pair then reportedly went back to his suite at the Peninsula Hotel to while away the early morning hours.

Lohan is only two years older than Willis' eldest daughter Rumer, while the "Die Hard" star will turn 50 in a week.

After Willis' split with ex-wife Demi Moore -- who has been carrying on a romance with 27-year-old Ashton Kutcher -- he dated actress Brooke Burns, 26, until June 2004. Lohan has been at loose ends since her relationship with "That '70s Show" star Wilmer Valderrama ended in November 2004.

Willis recently appeared in the comedy sequel "The Whole Ten Yards" and next stars in the crime thriller "Hostage," which opens nationwide on Friday, March 11.

"Mean Girls" star Lohan's other film credits include "The Parent Trap," "Freaky Friday" and "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen." She recently released her debut album, "Speak," and is currently filming "Just My Luck" in New Orleans. Her latest Disney remake, "Herbie: Fully Loaded," will open nationwide in June.

'Suspicious farmer set trap in his barn'

I'm bored. It's been a boring week in the world of rerun television and no new films are out that I have any desire to see. Ben and I rented Ginger Snaps and Maria Full of Grace last week. Friday Night Lights was still out! We have yet to watch them though. I'm slowly adjusting to my waking at 4:30 in the morning to accomodate our new work/car pooling schedule. Which meant I (eek!) fell asleep before "Alias" this week. Okay kiddies, for your Friday entertainment to cap off this week, is a true - I shit you not - article that ran in my hometown paper this week. Enjoy...

Arrest in sheep assault on farm
By ELIZABETH EVANS The York Dispatch

An alert farmer and the motion-detecting system he installed in his Paradise Township barn helped police catch a man they suspect sexually assaulted a sheep early yesterday.

Northern York County Regional Police Officer Pat Gartrell captured Bruce Charles Englar as he was walking out of Terry and Cindy Patterson's barn in the 600 block of Big Mount Road around 3 a.m.

Englar, 53, of 4658 Bentz Road, North Codorus Township, is charged with burglary, attempted intercourse with an animal, possessing an instrument of crime, criminal and agricultural trespass and loitering and prowling at night. He was released on $10,000 bail yesterday.

Examining the sheep: Police said charges against Englar will be upgraded if an examination of the animal confirms signs of sexual abuse.

"We're going to have a veterinarian go out and examine the sheep," she said. "We'll have to wait to see what the results show."

Smith said she sees "no reason" to euthanize the ewe.

Sounding the alarm: According to Englar's arrest affidavit, Terry Patterson told police he installed alarm and intercom systems in the barn because he suspected someone was sneaking inside at night and assaulting his sheep.

Early yesterday, the alarm sounded and Terry Patterson ran outside while his wife called 911.
The farmer looked in the barn window and saw Englar in a corner holding a sheep to the ground, belly up, police said.

Police said Gartrell arrested Englar as he was leaving the barn.

Englar was dressed all in black and had twine in his pocket, which matched twine found hanging in the barn, police said.

Englar told police he was just "petting" the animal, according to his affidavit. He then asked for a lawyer.

The Pattersons did not return a phone message seeking comment.

Smith said the number of reported cases of animals being sexually assaulted is low.

"But I think it happens more often than we know about."

Friday, March 04, 2005

MUSIC: O Damien

There are plenty of blogs out there, like The Big Ticket, that do such a bang up job of music and .mp3 work, I don't even try to compete. That, and I don't have a way to host the files. On this Friday though, I wanted to share with you the music of Damien Rice. His amazing album, "O" (buy here) has contributed to two very poetic scenes in the past couple of months both on television and in the theaters. If you've been haunted or dying to listen to "that song" from Closer (Natalie Portman's theme) or "that song" that Hurley was listening to right before his batteries finally died on Lost last week, I strongly recommend buying the album which contains both The Blower's Daughter and Delicate.

Eskimo Friends happens to have .mp3's available of live versions of the songs. Follow the links below to their site (and buy the album).

Happy Friday friends.

As heard in Closer:

from eskimofriends.com

As heard on Lost 1-17 "In Translation":

(from eskimofriends.com)

Thursday, March 03, 2005

THE BOX: Good-bye Lenny!

At 10 p.m. tonight, tune in to say goodbye to Detective Lenny Briscoe.

(from zap2it)
---The newest addition to the ridiculously successful "Law & Order" franchise, "Trial By Jury" takes viewers through a criminal trial by offering every point of view -- from the attorneys on both sides to the jury. Sounds delectable. In tonight's premiere, Assistant District Attorney Tracey Kibre (Bebe Neuwirth, "Cheers," Broadway's "Chicago") investigates the murder of an aspiring Broadway actress but has little evidence to prosecute the suspect, an acclaimed but self-absorbed theater producer (guest star Tony Bill). Joining her for the investigation is fellow ADA Kelly Gaffney ("Third Watch's" Amy Carlson), as well as investigators Hector Salazar (Kirk Acevedo, "Band of Brothers") and Lennie Briscoe (the late Jerry Orbach, in one of his final episodes). The show moves into its regular timeslot Friday night.

THE BOX: lost in a numbers game

WOWSERS! Where do I start. Last night's Lost was fan-fucking-tastic. Of course, so have been all the episodes written by David Fury. The ex-Buffyverse writer twists, turns, and mystifies in each episode he writes enhancing the bizzaro island world.

While not my favorite castaway, most are totally in love with Hurley and last night was "his" episode.

LOST 1-18: Numbers

The last pivotal episode, 1-14 Special, which coincidentally was also written by David Fury, was the first that actually made me contemplate that fact that they are not dead. For a refresher and my take on the meaning of numbers and children, check it out here.

The symbolism of the three or the trinity is echoed once again in numbers as we learn that Hurley has a fatalistic tie to the island.

The episode works backwards from Hurley through the connections. For the sake of clarity, I'm going to start at the beginning. As the story goes...

1. Two Australian naval officers were assigned to monitor air waves coming out of the Pacific. All they ever heard was static, until one day they picked up a frequency with a message "4 8 15 16 23 42". One of the officers retired from the navy. During a carnival, he entered a contest. The trick, guess the amount of beans in a container and win $50,000. So the man guessed 4,815,162,342. He was exactly right. From that point on, his life spiraled into disaster after disaster until he put a shotgun in his mouth. The other naval officer went insane. When we meet him, he is playing connect four and eating the checkers. He mumbles to himself repeatedly, 4 8 15 16 23 42. Apparently, Hurley did a bid in the mental institution. We don't know why, all we know is that he's touchy about the subject. After settling back into "normal" life, Hurley decides to play the lottery: 4 8 15 16 23 42. He wins, BIG! The biggest lottery winner in history, Hurley becomes plagued by bad luck, fire, death, pain, and ruin. He keeps getting richer. Monkey's Paw, anyone? He believes he's cursed only to then decide that the numbers are cursed. He returns to the institution were the old nutty man tells him the source of the numbers and that they are the key to the box (Pandora's if you will). Yes, still, when I think "key", I think Dawn and mystical monks. I think hellgods. I think, "this can't be good". So Hurley travels to Australia to find the other officer only to discover his fate. On the way back to LA, the plane goes down...

2. So, what does this have to do with island? These are the same numbers that are written repetitively on the French ladies map. When Hurley discovers this, he's off to track her down. After, explosions, bullets, and collapsing bridges Hurley finally confronts here. She shares with him the story...

When she and her family were sailing in the south pacific, they picked up this random frequency: "4 8 15 26 23 42". They tried to trace it assuming it was a distress call. They shipwrecked on the island; disaster insued. The woman eventually found the source, a radio tower near "the black rock". So this never happened to anyone again, she stopped the frequency and replaced it with her own - the one from the pilot part II.

3. In the last shot we find out that these numbers really do represent a box, literally. They are marked on the hatch Locke and Boone have been trying to open for weeks. Cue the music: Dunh, dunh, duh!

(Is anyone thinking Cube; has anyone seen cube? )

And that kids, was the best episode thus far.

Up next on Lost:

"Deus ex Machina" or God in the Machine:

The next new airing is at the very least three weeks away. ABC is evil. They always put a break after the most awesome of episodes. The next ep is Locke centric and entitled "Deus ex Machina". Considering the title, the character involved, the lack of promotional shots, and that co-creator Damon Lindoff penned it himself, look for the entire world of Lost to be turned upside down.

If you aren't familiar with Greek tragedy or the literary term "Deus ex Machina", let me elaborate: (from dictionary.com)

1. In Greek and Roman drama, a god lowered by stage machinery to resolve a plot or extricate the protagonist from a difficult situation.
2. An unexpected, artificial, or improbable character, device, or event introduced suddenly in a work of fiction or drama to resolve a situation or untangle a plot.
3. A person or event that provides a sudden and unexpected solution to a difficulty.

Six episodes to go:
We know one castaway dies. Does anyone else suspect the birth of Claire's baby will be the season finally? Will she die in childbirth?

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Buena Vista Home Entertainment releasing Lost: The Complete First Season on DVD Sept. 20. The six-disc set includes deleted scenes, casting tapes, bloopers and other featurettes and retails for $60.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

THE BOX: sending out an SOS

Over on E! Online, Kristin has launched her annual Save One Show (SOS) campaign. Her column this week brings us all up to speed with the fate of our favorite shows from "code black" or dead (like Enterprise) to "code blue" which means only a freak accident will keep this show off the air, like Alias (yay Alias!).

While most of the shakey shows, like North Shore, deserve their shakiness... There are two exceptional shows that you evil Neilsen families aren't watching.

Code Red: Veronica Mars, which is my favorite new show of the year and Code Orange (slightly more healthy) Arrested Development which is simply pure genius.

Please visit E! to vote for a show. Kirsten then lobbies one specific executive on behalf of viewers everywhere. She's quite relentless and good to have you your show's side. The problem, we can only save one.

Click here to vote and get the lowdown on your shows' status.

POPCORN: four in a million

Yes, I'm sure you know by now that Million Dollar Baby took top honors and earned director Clint Eastwood, and cast members Morgan Freeman and Hillary Swank all Academy Awards Sunday night. For a full list of winners, check just about anywhere on the internet.

The show was as boring as the fashion this year as everyone played it safe. Bring back Laura Ziskin! At least her 2002 broadcast was fun, screw the time. The broadcast was Sunday, it's only Tuesday, and I've already forgot just about everything that happened. All but the much anticipated Jamie Foxx ,delivered drone speeches. There were no Native Americans, teamster jokes, or streakers. There was no self effacing humor. Chris Rock was great and his jokes and sketches were all that garnered a laugh. Hey, Sean Penn - get a sense of humour! I will say the changes weren't as awkward as I suspect they would be. I did find it most insulting that not only did the orchestra overplay some speeches, but the cameras would cut away as well. That's just rude.

Had I not spent the night with Darren, Kevin, and Ben, I would have fallen asleep at some point after Sydney Lumet's speech. That, and Darren forced me to eat lemon meringue pie. The sugar rush alone had me spinning; no Merlot needed. Enjoy the brief glimpse into our boring lives...

My favorite picture of the night!

I think this picture of Ben, Joel, and sideways paraphernalia speaks for itself.

Take the one and only glimpse you'll ever get of me.