Monday, October 03, 2005

spinning dizzy circles

Yes, I’m quite aware that I have severely neglected this blog over the past month – so much so that the gold fish floating in my pond have more life and spirit. I know you’ve missed my opinions on the Emmy’s, Lost, Arrested Development, Veronica Mars, House, Desperate Housewives, and newbies like Kitchen Confidential, Invasion, Prisonbreak, and Supernatural. I’ve also been watching movies and thanks to Darren’s generous gifts of movies passes and free netflix – I’m sure there will be much more. Why has all this happened you ask?

Anyway, I, silly girl that I am, had to go and get MARRIED!

first look...

That’s right, I did it.

Ben and I were blessed with a beautiful day, friends and family, food and drink, a multitude of gifts and most importantly, each other. Not even a snooty organist and a horde of military and police could keep us down.

It was great to see people whom I haven’t seen forever like NYUer’s Zoe and Kathy. It was wonderful to see my sisters interacting with my friends, to see my mother interacting with my father, and to see others find something new in those that were right in front of them all along.

Though all was not perfect as I forced myself to break a promise... To never give up. It’s takes certain events in life to shake the truth out of the tree of denial. Maybe it took a day of such happiness to see the selfishness, the despair, the hopelessness I’ve been fighting to avoid for so long. On Sunday I said good-bye to one of the dearest people I have ever known. I pushed him out of my home, out of my life. Then cried in the back of a closet for 30 minutes petrified of what I've done. There is no room for demons in paradise. I hope one day he has the strength to come back to me, back as the whole person that he once was, that maybe one day he could be again. So where there is an end, there is also a beginning…

... like waking up to this for the rest of my life.

The planning is over and life can move on along the chaotically planned track laid out ahead. Fours days to Las Vegas my friends.

Look for an all new and updated Brain Drain come October 17th.

Oh, and for any of you that care, I did cut off all my hair.


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