Wednesday, November 02, 2005

We can like raise the dead or do something halloweeny

This past weekend sugar and darkness were plentiful as we celebrated Halloween. Friday night, Darren invited me to his place for an adolescent type sleepover watching horror movies with his parents. The perk? We got to watch Paris Hilton die…

House of Wax – 6/10




I thought this film was good for a gore-horror movie, but not great. The pacing was good and the effects were just enough “yuck” factor without gratuitous over the top pointless blood. Speaking of pointless… Along side Paris Hilton, Elisha Cuthbert looked like Meryl Streep. Speaking of Meryl, has she ever super glued her lips?

While I’m no stranger to seeing Kim, I mean Elisha, in troublesome situations where a little common sense goes along way, this time she got to be the super heroine. Darkening her standard platinum locks was also a good move.

The film is classically formulaic in a good way. There were very few scream out load moments, in fact I don’t think any, but Chad Michael Murray with his shirt off… How is that not worth it?

The wax effects are the star of the film as the director used creativity (with complete absence of realism of course) when visually designing the eye-popping climax in (duh duh duh) the House of Wax.

Next up on Darren’s scary movie schedule was the art house horror flick May. Okay, if you’ve strolled through the horror section at the local video anytime during the past year and half, the cover to this film is bound to stick in your memory, or at least mine anyway. Angela Bettis looks like a bizarre cross between Rose McGowan (Scream) and Robin Tunney (The Craft).

May – 8/10

I thought this was a well-crafted highly disturbing film, though I don’t know if I liked it or not yet. I saw Paperhouse, a UK art house horror film often compared to Nightmare on Elm Street, when I was a kid. It was on Cinemax, Cine-Vangard night. I think that film combined with Blue Velvet sidetracked any chance I had at being well adjusted. I’ve tried to find Paperhouse on DVD or Video, but it’s like the film never existed… Anyway, I’m digressing. Where was I? Oh yes, art house horror. Highly disturbing normally bodes well with me, in fact to steal a quote from the film “I like weird.” I mean, I do live for David Lynch and David Cronenberg flicks, so have I finally hit too weird?

SIDE NOTE: Darren will never forgive me for making him watch Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me or as he calls it “that weird movie.”

What makes this so peculiar you ask?

1. Jeremy Sisto – Elton, as I will call him, is normally quite hot from Clueless to Thirteen and even in Wrong Turn, quite sexy. Yet, not in this. He bore a striking resemblance to one of my ex’s, on Mr. Klein; I personally think it was the horrid hairstyle he sported throughout the film, very reminiscent of Tim Curry in Rocky Horror.

2. Anna Ferris – Ms. Ferris has a hot voice. It’s very “California,” like a raspy valley girl. In this film, she takes on the role of swingin’ lesbian, an oversexed secretary looking to score with any and all who spread their legs. Yes, Anna Ferris is hot, but the unrelenting sexuality couple with her raspy voice and aggressive dialogue definitely radiated and uncomfortable vibe.

3. Angela Bettis – I easily see why Ms. Bettis was cast in this film. Angela Bettis is weird. Don’t get me wrong, she is in her own gothicly peculiar way quite beautiful… (See Below)


Yet, her body frame actually distracted me throughout the entire film. She is tiny, minute even. I have no idea her exact body dimensions obviously, but we’re talking Olsen twin stature here, maybe even smaller. That in itself wouldn’t be too distracting except her body is so small, depending what she was wearing, she looked like a bobble head about to tumble over. What makes it more awkward is that her frame looks natural. She didn’t look like Lindsay Lohan or Mary Kate Olsen. She wasn’t just skin stretched over bone that you desperately want to share your Halloween candy with. She is just perfectly peculiar. As I said, this distracted me throughout the film. Because of her doll like form and stature, Bettis couldn’t have been more perfectly cast as the girl her who never had a friend. So after being sexually rejected one to many times, she made her own.

After reflecting, I think it’s Loopie, the fluffy Persian. Frozen cats may just be too weird for me.

And so, that was it for my Friday celebration. I think Darren and I started watching Hocus Pocus on the Disney channel, but I passed out quickly.

Saturday night Ben and I made an impromptu appearance at the Halloween party thrown by friends… We were Shaggy and Velma if you’re curious. Sunday Darren came over to my house and tried using a Ouji board to talk to the ghosts that Ben insists we have. We then dorkily played horror movie charades – Oh yeah! How would you act out The Grudge! And that my friends, was my All Hallow’s Eve.

THE BOX

In the world of television, Fox brought back House last night after a too long baseball induced hiatus. I love Doctor House and I can’t stand Cameron. Jennifer Morrison is quite pretty, but I hate her character. She’s weak, and dumb, and easily manipulated by all those around her. No wonder House wouldn’t bang her last season. Ron Livingston made a guest appearance last night stunningly portraying a self-centered doctor without a border that - you guessed it – easily manipulates Cameron. My thought: pretty smart girls don’t have to act so stupid.

Speaking of Fox, Arrested Development doesn’t come back until next Monday, but production has been put on hiatus because Jason Bateman had a sore throat. Well, a little more severe than that. Our beloved Bateman had to undergo throat surgery for a benign tumor. Which means Arrested will have to wait. So far 8 episodes have been completed, yet only three have aired. So hopefully there won’t be too much of a disruption of the broadcasts.

As for repeats, Lost is repeating itself once again tonight. To that I say “UGH!” On the Lost front though, I came across this quirky story today.

“Producers of ABC's mega-hit castaway thriller "Lost" plan to introduce a new storyline centering on the discovery of a fictitious manuscript that will become the basis for a real-life novel that Hyperion will publish this spring.” For the entire story and marketing ploy… Click Here.

POPCORN

As for the upcoming weekend… I still have the whole freakin’ current season of Veronica Mars to watch. The DVD-at-home line up features The Lost Weekend (still), Million Dollar Baby (still), and Naked Lunch. Mysterious Skin is on its way.


Whether I get to this viewing or not is yet to be seen as this weekend, little ol’ York (We don’t believe in Evolution) PA is getting a copy of Good Night and Good Luck which just might be occupying my Friday night. Regardless, Jarhead is debuting as well and I just can’t get enough Gyllenhaal (either of them). Have you seen Jarhead’s TV spots featuring Kanye West? I can’t remember the last time a TV spot looked or sounded so good.

That’s this week’s Drained Brain…. For now anyway.

1 Comments:

At 3:52 PM, Blogger Darren said...

Anna FARIS!

Yeah, she's totally naughty sex kitten lesbian chic. I LOVE it. May is a movie I think I'd feel comfortable recommending to any of my friends, which says more about my friends than it does of the movie.

I can't believe Cuthbert actually superglued her lips shut and then pried them open herself. That method acting will get to you. Top that, Russell Crowe! HOW probably has about the best final act of any film this year when you compare it to the quality of the rest of the film. Great production design. Too bad Oscar would never notice. Chad Michael Murray (men with 3 names are so hot! :-) ) has some Oscar-worthy nipples.

La la la.

Fire Walk With Me wasn't that bad. I just give you shit cause it was weird, I was a TP virgin, and we watched our first night hanging together. Hazing is so 97.

Oh, and Darren Aronofsky is directing an episode of Lost towards the end of the season.

 

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